Raise Your Love
by SilverQueen1904
Summary: "Hey!" I hear a boy's voice coming clear across the alley. The factionless man turns to look in the direction of my savior. I seize my opportunity while the man is distracted and bring my knee up sharply. He groans and releases my arm only slightly but it is enough for me to pull free from his grasp. I sprint towards where I heard the voice, not bothering to look behind me.
1. Chapter 1

**I have realised that I don't actually say for a while but if anyone wanted to know Beatrice is 14 and Tobias is 16 in this story. I tried my best to use American spellings of words since the story is set in America but forgive me if not (I know it's hardly a big deal but I wanted to make it fit). Anyway, I hope you like this fanfic! Please review, constructive criticism is always welcome!**

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I felt a strong hand wrap around my wrist and my breath catch in my throat. A man in filthy rags had approached me to ask if I had any food that I could give him and when I politely said no he grabbed me.

"I know you're lying to me," he was backing me against the wall in the alley. The grip on my arm was too tight to get out of. I flinch from the impact of the brick wall my back hits. "All you Abnegation always have food on you."

His whisper was menacing and I froze under his gaze. I had nothing to give him and no way out.

I twisted my head to the side to try and rid my nostrils of his putrid breath but it was no use as he advanced closer to me.

"Please," I trembled. "Please don't hurt me. I swear I don't have anything, please."

I felt so weak and pathetic, begging with this repulsive man, but there was no other option. I could not scream for help as nobody would be this far out of the sector. If I cried out I know this man would only hurt me worse. I could see in his eyes the delight he caused from inflicting pain.

His hand twisted around my forearm, the friction tearing at my skin.

"Stop. Lying." I notice his other arm rise up and I braced myself for the impact.

"Hey!" I hear a boy's voice coming clear across the alley.

The factionless man turns to look in the direction of my savior. I seize my opportunity while the man is distracted and bring my knee up sharply.

He groans and releases my arm only slightly but it is enough for me to pull free from his grasp. I sprint towards where I heard the voice, not bothering to look behind me. I grab his hand and pull him along with me, away from my attacker.

We run together, taking different twists and turns, until we are far enough away that the man cannot find us.

I lean my back against the wall and slide to the floor. My lungs are burning. I have hardly ever run before since running is frowned upon in Abnegation. It draws attention and distracts others which is selfish, according to my mother.

After a few heavy breaths, I look up at the boy stood in front of me. He is tall, close to a foot taller than me. The thick grey Abnegation garments sitting awkwardly on his body. His hair is dark, his skin is tanned and he has deep blue eyes, like the sea during a storm. Overall, his appearance is a lot more striking than my small frame, pale skin and dull hair and eyes.

"Thank you," I pant.

"That was all you," he says appraisingly. "Quick thinking."

"You provided the distraction." I say modestly. "Honestly though thank you. I don't know what he would have done to me if you hadn't shown up."

He smiles at me, pausing for a moment, "it was my pleasure."

I lean my head back and sigh in relief.

"I must say," the boy spoke again, "that wasn't very Abnegation of you, what you did back there."

He has a light tone to his voice, amused almost. "I could say the same about you."

"Yeah well, sometimes I'm more curious than I should be," he smirks.

I nod in understanding. I'm exactly the same, too curious for my own good, too curious for Abnegation.

"Let me walk you home," the boy says. "I'd like to make sure you don't encounter anymore violent factionless."

"I couldn't. I told my mother I would be out helping the factionless for a few hours and I've only been out for," I check my watch, "forty minutes now."

I see him tilt his head and look at me curiously, "if you were supposed to be helping the factionless then what were you doing this edge of the sector. You know the factionless are mostly on the other side, right?"

"Yeah, I know." I look down at my feet. I shouldn't have said that, it was a stupid thing to say. I silently scold myself for telling a stranger about my selfishness.

Then I hear him chuckle, my eyes snap up to meet his. I wonder if he understands the feelings about our faction that I have. The out of place feeling that I wake to every morning. The hesitation to make selfless choices. I do not belong in this faction that much I know for sure.

"I'll tell you what," he says with a half-smile, "we'll go for a walk and then I can keep you company until it is time for you to return home. If that is fine with you. I would just really like to make sure you stay safe."

I feel a small grin creep onto my face and I nod, pushing myself off of the wall. "Where are we going?"

"Wherever we want." The reply is short and simple but I like it. The idea of freedom, we could go anywhere.

We walk together aimlessly weaving through the buildings as they become less and less frequent and then stop appearing altogether. That is when we know we are at the edge of the sector. It is nice out here. Peaceful and quiet.

We sit together on the grass for a long while, talking about nothing and everything. It is nice, I have never spoken to anyone in Abnegation like this before. It is considered selfish to talk about oneself so making any real friends is virtually impossible. I could see this boy becoming my friend. He is so open and kind and intelligent. From the way he helped me earlier he is quite clearly brave as well.

We sit for what feels like a lifetime until I realize that I have been out of the house for a little over two hours. "I should probably start heading home, it is a fair walk from here."

He stands and brushes the grass off of his trousers. "Let's go then, we wouldn't want you to miss dinner, you're already tiny enough as it is."

I shake my head, laughing a little. I don't recall ever having laughed as much in my entire life as I have in this afternoon.

We walk back, the conversation never dimming between us until we get closer to the center of the sector and more people are around. We both know we must behave a certain way in front of the faction to keep up appearances of being perfect Abnegation children.

After half an hour of walking we reach my house and come to a stop.

"It was very nice saving you this afternoon," he bows his head, the typical Abnegation greeting.

"It was very nice being saved by you," I bow my head in return.

He smiles and then walks away, leaving me to go in to my house. I hover outside for just a moment longer than I should to watch this boy disappear. I wonder if I will ever get the chance to see him again. I hope I do.

Later on I am seated at the dinner table with my family. My father and mother discussing what they had been doing previously and my brother, Caleb, and I listening respectfully.

"-and what did you do today, Beatrice?" My mother asks me. It is only then that I realize I have drifted from the conversation.

"I went a helped the factionless for a few hours," I lie.

"Did anything interesting happen while you were out?" My father enquires.

I shake my head politely, "no." I wonder if they know that I am being dishonest with them.

I assume not as they move on to discuss what Caleb had been doing that day. He tells us all about the volunteer work he had been doing in the hospital earlier, how much admiration he had for the doctors who worked there and how glad he was that he could help them in any way possible.

After we finish our meal, Caleb and I are sent to bed. It is a Sunday so school begins again tomorrow and we must be well rested for the day.

I bid my parents goodnight and then follow Caleb upstairs where we part and go to our separate rooms.

After I have brushed my teeth and changed for bed, I find myself thinking of the boy I met. His blue eyes flash behind my closed ones. How I hope to see them again. I wish I had asked for his name and then maybe I could find him. He appeared to be close to my age so surely he attends my school. I wonder if he is in my year but I know that he could not be because I surely would have noticed him before.

The last thought that floats through my mind before sleep finds me is him.

I must see him again.


	2. Chapter 2

Caleb and I stand in the aisle of the bus. I clutch the railing as the bus bounces over another unmade road. Abnegation volunteers repaired the roads in the centre of the city three years ago and worked their way outwards until they ran out of materials. Unfortunately they never got to Abnegation so we are left with the rough roads until we get closer.

My eyes scan all of the people outside of the bus as we get closer to the Hub and the bus starts to pull to a stop. I wait for the people seated in front of where I stand to leave the bus before I make a move.

Caleb gets off behind me and we walk quietly toward the school together. Caleb holds open the glass door as I walk through and wait for him to let others through as well. I don't know how he can manage to be so selfless constantly. It is never my instinct to be selfless. That is why I don't belong in Abnegation.

Caleb and I walk together through a few crowded hallways before we split. He heads towards the C wing where his Advanced Chemistry class is and I head towards the E wing where I will have Faction History.

Today we are learning about Amity. Not that they have much history to talk of since nothing ever really happens in their faction. I've been taught that every member of Amity has a say in official decisions so I can't imagine that they would be able to get much done. Especially with the amount Amity chatter.

I find my eyes drawn away from the board at the front of the classroom and outside. I can see the train tracks from here. I watch the Dauntless jump from the trains almost every day. I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy whenever I hear their shouts, they sound so free and happy. Not repressed at all.

I wonder if that boy feels the same, the one that I met yesterday. He seemed to share a lot of my opinions. Maybe he is planning on transferring when his Choosing Ceremony comes. I wonder what he would transfer to.

I need to stop obsessing with him, I tell myself. I return my focus to the board where the teacher is still droning on about the political structure within Amity.

Apparently they have one person who is elected as a spokesperson for Amity. That person is allowed to make decisions of his or her own if it is urgent but then they hold a meeting and discuss the decision. I don't see how they make it work, surely they would have disputes and disagreements and then how would they go about solving them?

Before I know it the teacher is waving everyone out of the room. I grab my books and follow quietly behind the others and head towards the D wing. As I am walking a Candor boy who looks around choosing age walks past me, bashing into my shoulder. I turn to look to see if he has even noticed but he carries on without apology.

As I turn back to continue to my next class I smack directly in to someone, dropping all of my books. I quickly bend to pick them up and notice a grey sleeve gets there before me.

I take my books and go to offer my thanks but when I look up all I see is blue eyes, "it's you." I say simply, I was not expecting to see him again so quickly.

"I seem to be helping you out a lot recently," he grins.

"Yes, well, I'm a walking hazard. I need more assistance than most." I look down at my feet to try and hide my blush. I just made a joke in a crowded hallway. What am I doing?

He laughs lightly, "So it seems. I should get to class but it was nice seeing you again."

He turns to go but I cannot let him leave without finding out his name, not this time. I touch my hand to his wrist to stop him, "Wait."

"Yes?" He turns back to me, smiling a little.

I hesitate, not sure of what to say. "My name is Beatrice. Beatrice Prior."

"Well, Beatrice Prior, as I said it was nice to see you again."

"What is your name?" I ask quickly before he can turn away from me again.

"If I tell you, will you let me walk you home from school today?" I nod without hesitation. "Then I shall see you after school near the statue out front, Beatrice Prior."

Before I know what is happening, he has disappeared into the crowd. I wish I didn't have to go to four more classes, why can it not already be the end of the day?

I turn and walk quickly to my class. I will be late if I don't hurry and I do not wish to draw any extra attention to myself by walking in late.

The rest of the day drags by slowly. I spend most of my classes staring at my watch or out the window when I have a view of the statue where I am meeting him.

At lunch I sit with an Abnegation girl named Susan, her brother, Robert and Caleb. They make small talk as we eat but I do not participate. I scan the dining hall to try and get another glimpse of him. I don't see him but I take solace in the fact that I will see him later.

At the end of my last class of the day, I have to refrain from getting up and running out of the door. It would not do to draw much attention. I walk out as slowly as I can possibly make myself considering my excitement.

I step out the front doors and spot the statue. It is a large metal sculpture and I watch as I see several Dauntless climb it, each trying to make it higher than the other.

I watch in awe, momentarily forgetting why I was looking to the statue in the first place. That is until I see a face smiling at me on the other side of the sculpture.

I make my way over to him and we both bow our heads to each other, laughing a little.

"Tobias Eaton. Pleasure to meet you, Miss Prior."


	3. Chapter 3

Tobias. It suits him, I think. I have never felt like Beatrice was the right name for me. It's too… stiff. Ironic really, since 'Stiff' is the nickname given to our faction by the others.

"So, were you enjoying watching the Dauntless climb?" Tobias asks me.

I nod. "Yes, it all seems very exciting in their faction doesn't it?"

"I've always thought that it would be nice every once in a while to do something like that, do something just for the sake of it," he says with a dreamy look in his eyes.

"I feel the same way." We have gotten far enough away from other people that we can feel comfortable talking like this again. Most Abnegation children take the bus and the children from other factions all live in the opposite direction to us. "Tobias," it feels nice to be able to put a name to his face now, "when you choose, do you think you will stay in Abnegation? I know we shouldn't be talking about this but I've never met anyone else who seemed like they might leave, or at least that I know of."

He stops walking and gives me a funny look, "You know, Beatrice, you're probably the most curious girl I've ever met – and not just in Abnegation." We start walking again while I wait for him to talk again, hoping that he won't continue to avoid the question. "Yes. I do think I'll leave."

"You seem so certain," I don't think I know anyone who has thought about it so much that they have a definite answer.

"I need to be certain," he replies. "I choose in just a few months, Beatrice."

"Oh. I guess you would be. I have two more years to decide." I find a feeling of disappointment begin to weigh me down. I was hoping that we would be closer in age so that we could spend more time together. I know I have only just met him but I feel like I need more than a few months with him.

"After I saw you in the hallway earlier I got to thinking," I look up at him hopefully. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea or think I'm being a bad influence but how would you feel about meeting up with me tonight – after curfew."

My smile feels like it's stretching from ear to ear. "Yes, I would like that very much."

He breathes a sigh of relief, "good. That's excellent." I carry on walking, looking ahead of me but out of the corner of my eye I can see a light smile gracing Tobias' face.

Before we get too close to the centre of Abnegation we discuss our plan for this evening. It would not do to be overheard in the crowded streets of our faction.

I am to sneak out of my house and wait behind it at ten past eleven and Tobias will come and get me. I am nervous already because I have never been outside after curfew before.

"Don't be scared, it'll be fine." Tobias says, sensing my apprehension. "Just so you know that you have the option, if I get to your house and you aren't outside then I will wait ten minutes and then return home if you haven't shown up, okay?"

"Okay." He always seems to know exactly what to say to make me feel more relaxed, "I do want to come though, I will try my best."

More people start to surround us so we change our conversation to more mundane topics that nobody would think to question.

I almost don't even realise that we are at my house until Tobias stops in front of me.

"It was lovely walking with you, Beatrice," Tobias says.

"Likewise," I bow my head.

Tobias bows his head to me and whispers, "I look forward to seeing you again soon."

I find myself daydreaming at the dinner table, imagining what we will do later this evening, but I quickly turn my attention back to my parents. I hope they didn't notice. Daydreaming is a sign that one is taking more notice of oneself than others so it is highly frowned upon in Abnegation.

I look down at my plate. A small chicken breast, peas and a small slice of brown bread are on it - again. I long for variety. I have grown weary of the same simple plain foods, I often find myself wondering what the other factions eat. I have heard that the Dauntless have a special kind of cake that is said to be indescribable and that Erudite have some kind of fizzy drink which supposedly helps to increase learning power.

My eyes flit between my parents as they converse. My father is telling us about a new law they are trying to make to help provide the factionless with comfortable sleeping arrangements as so many are forced to sleep on the cold, hard ground outside. It is admirable how much he tries to help them; I wish I could be the same.

"How was school, Beatrice?" My father turns the conversation to me.

"It was fine, thank you." I smile meekly.

"Caleb says you weren't on the bus home, what happened?" I hear concern in his voice and I try to think of a plausible lie.

"Oh, well, there were a few Dauntless trying to climb the sculpture outside of school again and one of them fell so I went to get the nurse. By the time I had gotten back, I had missed the bus so I walked." I think that my lie was sufficient. It had happened before only I wasn't the one to get the nurse, I just stood in shock as another Abnegation girl got a nurse.

My father definitely believes me as I see a proud twinkle in his eye, his little girl finally doing something selfless. My mother just smiles but it doesn't quite reach her eyes, I can tell that she doesn't believe me. I think she knows that I am not truly selfless, that I don't quite belong. She says nothing, though I don't know why.

When dinner is finished, Caleb and I take the plates and wash them. I feel him lean closer to me when our parents have left the room, "where were you really?"

I look up at him, caught off guard by his question. "I- I was getting the nurse and then I walked back alone." I repeat my story, maybe if I stick too it he won't question me further.

"I saw you outside school," Caleb says quietly so he doesn't attract my parent's attention. "You were talking to an Abnegation boy. Who is he?"

"No one," I reply, maybe a little too quickly. "Why are you being so curious?"

That got him. He looked back down at the plate he was drying, to avoid eye contact.

"For your information," I hiss back. "He is nobody and I really did have to get the nurse and walk home. Alone."

That seemed to satisfy him since he stopped questioning me and finished drying the rest of the cutlery. I felt bad lying to my family but no good could come of them knowing I was friends with Tobias - especially not with the type of rebellious friendship we have.

No, it was best for them not to know.

Caleb and I retire to our bedrooms at half past nine. I look at my watch. I have an hour and a half until I see Tobias again. I set an alarm for eleven and lie down. I'll get some sleep before I meet him. I don't think I would be able to stay still, at least this way I will be well rested and I won't have to wait for so long.

I don't even realise that I have fallen asleep when my watch starts bleeping from under my pillow, muffling the sound so that nobody else could hear it. I switch it off and put it back on. Ten minutes. I smooth my hands over my hair to check that it is still in place.

I grab my thick coat and put it on, the night air will be chilly I imagine. Sitting on the edge of my bed, I bounce my legs with nervousness. What if I get caught trying to sneak out? I try not to think about it.

My attention turns back to my watch and I count down the seconds. As soon as the long hand meets the two I stand and make my way silently to the door. I tip toe downstairs trying not to make any noise. A step creaks under the pressure and I cringe, freezing at the sound. I do not hear anyone stir so I continue my descent.

I reach the front door and slowly pull it open and then slowly close it on the other side. As soon as it is shut, I creep quickly around to the back of my house and sit with my back against the wall.

He is not here yet so I wait.

I wait, and I wait, and I wait.

He doesn't show.


	4. Chapter 4

**I just wanted to say a really quick thank you to everyone who has reviewed, it's really nice to see that people are actually enjoying this (especially since I'm having a bit of a block for chapter five right now). Also thanks if you have followed or favourited. I just started a new job so I'm trying to update regularly but I'm quite busy and when I'm not I'm too tired to write so it's a little stressful right now. Thanks anyway, here is chapter four – four eek!**

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I sit on the bus to school with Caleb standing next to me and a large Candor man seated beside me. I don't think about the shaky roads or the heat from the crowded bus. I only think of last night.

I cried myself to sleep thinking of all the reasons he could have stood me up. Maybe he was ill, maybe he couldn't remember where I lived but the main one that springs to my mind is that he doesn't like me in any way and never did. I know that is the reason. How could a boy like Tobias ever like a girl like me? I am so plain and boring. I'm not even a good member of the faction. I'm useless.

He was probably just being cruel, making the stupid little girl think she could be his friend. I imagine he had a good old laugh about that. How silly the silly girl looks waiting outside in the cold for someone who would never come.

The rejection stings more than anything else. I had finally found someone who I felt that I connected with but clearly he didn't feel the same way about me.

I was just a joke to him.

I blink back tears that I can feel forming behind my eyelids. My eyes feel dry and itchy. I cannot cry in public. I must conceal my emotions. I am not weak.

I almost don't notice that the bus has stopped until I hear Caleb say my name and usher me out in front of him. I stand slowly and make my way off of the bus.

I don't want to think of Tobias any longer but I cannot help myself from scanning the crowds outside of school to try and see his face. There are so many dressed in grey that it is difficult but I know he is not there, he is far more noticeable than any other Abnegation I have met before.

I scold myself. I wish I could stop obsessing over it and just let it go and move on. I barely knew him so I shouldn't feel so bad about this. He is no one to me.

I repeat this to myself to try and drill it in to my head but no matter how hard I try, I know it isn't true. He is so much more important than that. He was the first glimmer of hope that my conflicting emotions didn't mean I was crazy. It isn't just me who doesn't want to be here.

I drift through the school day without much attention. It is difficult to focus on literature and trigonometry when your mind is everywhere all at once.

It isn't for just over a week that I see him again. I am walking through Abnegation again. I decided to walk back today. I needed to get away from the crowds for a while and being packed inside a crowded bus was definitely not the way to do that. I will just tell my family that I missed the bus again because I was helping a factionless lady. I know my mother won't believe it but my father will. I don't want him to know that I chose to walk for selfish reasons.

I am near the center when I spot him. I only see him from behind for just a moment but I can tell it's him. His dark hair, tan skin and tall stature is a giveaway.

He is walking with his father, Marcus. I watch as they round a corner. Marcus is whispering something to him, he looks angry. I see Tobias turn his face to look at him. His expression is blank and he simply nods, as though agreeing with everything his father is saying.

As they walk further around the corner I lose sight of them.

I wonder what that was about. From what I am told by my father, Marcus is a very nice, peaceful man. To a passer-by who isn't really paying attention, that scene looked nothing out of the ordinary. There was no yelling, no physical threats but if you had looked carefully between the two you could see the aggression in Marcus' eyes. He looked enraged, violent almost. The strangest part was that Tobias didn't seem shocked at all. I wonder if this is a regular occurrence and that is why Tobias is able to keep his face devoid of emotion.

I arrive in front of my house but I do not feel ready to go inside, I don't want to see or talk to anyone. I just want to be alone. I make my way around to the back of the house and sit against the wall. I sigh and think of how different the past week could have been if he had just shown up.

It isn't for a little while until I notice something hidden in a bush to my right. It looks like an envelope.

I move towards it and pick it up, turning it over, I see 'B.P.' written in small, straight letters.

Could 'B.P.' be me? It had to be, my initials on an envelope outside my house. How could it not be for me? It would be too much of a coincidence.

I tear open the envelope and unfold the paper inside. The writing is scratchy, as though written in a hurry.

_B_

_If you are reading this then you have gone back to where we were supposed to meet. _

_I am so terribly sorry that I could not come but my father saw me as I was about to leave. I really did want to come and see you, I swear. If you don't hate me then I would really love to see you again._

_On Saturdays I do volunteer work at the small warehouse close to the factionless sector. I hope to see you there sometime soon. I can try to explain a little more when I see you but for now this is all I can say._

_Please forgive me, B._

_T_


End file.
